I’m back in Phoenix for the summer which is wonderful because I get to spend tons of time with my family, my boyfriend, and his family. But it also means that our now-no-longer-long-distance relationship is much more on display than it was before.
Not to brag, but I think Alex and I were pretty darn good at long distance. We had each other’s schedule memorized, the time change became normal, and Facetime was a nightly occurrence. Now that we live in the same place, a lot has had to change, and that can be hard. My mom mentioned to me a few days ago that she feels like I’m too hard on Alex.
And she’s right. I am hard on Alex. I absolutely hold him to a higher standard than all of my other friends, not because I think he’s a better person, but because I want him to be. I want him to be the best, because he’s the person I’m committing my life to. And while I love him, he can drive me absolutely up the wall sometimes.
On the flip side, Alex puts up with a lot. For example, the other day, I was in the worst mood. Alex and I had just wrapped on a shoot for our web series, and I was exhausted and starving. We had a show that night and while I definitely could have found time to chill out, I had chosen to schedule myself in back-to-back events all day. In my frustration with myself, I took my anger out on Alex. I was passive aggressive and indecisive and flat out bitchy. For a while, he rolled with it, hoping I would calm down, until finally he simply said, “Willa, you’re being kind of mean to me. Please stop.”
I stopped, I took a deep breath, I mumbled an apology, and then we sat in silence. Finally I said to him, “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ll be better.” Alex smiled.
A few days later, as we hung out with my family, I joked with my mom that Alex puts up with a lot. He chimed in with, “I know I do!” and followed that up with, “I’m not going to discredit myself!”
I stand by that. Alex puts up with a lot for me. I certainly don’t make it easy at times, but neither does he. The idea that I hold onto throughout all of this–the shift from long distance to not, our arguments, the small irritations–is that this relationship and making it work may be hard, but loving Alex has always been easy.
This blog and my social media make it too easy for people to only see the good. I mean, the good is all that we document, right? But I think that it’s important to look at things, especially this relationship, from all angles. We’re not perfect people, and we are certainly not always happy, but we’re doing our best at this whole relationship thing. So even when we fight, we know how to take a damn good Instagram pic!
No matter what happens, I believe that loving him will continue to be the easiest thing for me to do.