I don’t do grape jelly and I don’t do boyfriends. In terms of grape jelly, well, I’ve got nothing against it, but it’s just not for me. I prefer raspberry or apricot preserves, if I have the option. In terms of boyfriends, that’s a little more complicated. I think the easiest answer is this: I just haven’t met them yet.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve met a lot of guys. I’ve met many, many boys/men, some of whom I’ve found attractive or gone on a few dates with or kissed or even liked, but none of them have been my boyfriend. It’s not that any of them are particularly bad people by any means, it’s just that there was something missing.
I’m the kind of person who likes to make pros and cons lists. I like to weigh all my options before proceeding with a decision. I love calculated risks and hate to make guesses. So in terms of finding a boyfriend, I live by this quote, which I found in an article from elitedaily.com:
“To pair with a man I believe I can learn to love, in the hopes of falling in love with him later on, is a leap of faith I won’t take.”
This quote sticks with me. I don’t need to be with someone with the hope that they will turn into what I want them to be, because chances are, they won’t. I refuse to settle.
Since my last romantic (was it?) endeavor has ended, I’ve found myself to be much happier than I used to be. I’m not sad for the loss of the man himself, but there are moments when I miss what we had. There were times in our existence that we were incredibly happy and in love; I miss those. However, I’m thankful to be where I am. Of course I’m grateful for the moments we shared, but I’m much more grateful that they’re now memories. I love what I’m doing and where I am in this moment and I’m thankful that I’m not in love. I’m thankful that I’m living how I’d like to, not emotionally tied to another person, and not craving one either. I’m thankful that my ex-whatever-he-was doesn’t read my blog very often, and therefore won’t see this. But most of all, I’m thankful that I know what kind of relationship I want to pursue, even though I haven’t met the person yet.