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It’s Not Me, It’s You

November 19, 2017

I’m breaking up with Pure Barre. There, I said it. I’m breaking up with Pure Barre and I’m breaking up with processed sugar and I’m breaking up with Tasty videos and late night binge eating and staying up till 2am. I think I’m breaking up with myself.

The last two weeks have been hard for me. I’ve been feeling sad for no reason. I’ve been calling my mom, holding back tears. And all I could focus on was why I was feeling this way. Why did I still hate my body? Why was I feeling so stressed? Why was my skin dull and my energy low?

I haven’t been eating great. I’ve been eating well and meal prepping during the day, but at night I’ve been binging on sugar. I’ve been lying in bed staring at my phone for hours at night. I’ve been going to barre everyday and feeling so fat and weak compared to everyone else. And that’s how I’ve been feeling for two weeks.

My brunch on Saturday

Friday was the first day that I started to feel a little bit more alive. I woke up early and went to the gym, allowed myself to just sit in my own feelings during the day, and then went to a yoga class that evening. By the end of the day, I was feeling much better. Saturday I treated myself to brunch, went to a workout class, and ran errands that I wanted to run. I cleaned my house and took care of myself. And I finally felt a little more grounded.

So I’m done with doing things that don’t make me feel the best that I can feel. I’m over putting anyone before myself. I am taking this time in my life to sit with me and all that I am. And I have absolutely nothing to be sorry about.

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