“I was born two weeks early, before my nervous system was fully developed,” Alex says to me honestly, “I was born shaky and nervous. I was born two weeks early, and because of that, I will always be anxious.”
I’ve replayed this statement over and over in my head, turned it around like feeling a small rock. I’ve held it in my mouth to examine the taste, and I’m not sure how to respond, four days later.
I was born a little less than a week late. There was no special reason and my body was fully developed and healthy when I arrived. My mom was in labor with me for 32 hours before I came, getting stuck on the way out.
I was born a little less than a week late, but I’m almost always on time. Perhaps this is the way I’m compensating for taking my sweet time getting here at the beginning.
I was born a little less than a week late. I was born healthy and screaming. I was born ready to take on the entire world. I was born a small girl, already impatient to get on with it. I was born a little less than a week late and because of that, I will be thinking of the future for the rest of my life, to make up for my lost time.
So don’t be surprised when I tell you that what I want to be changes daily or that I think of what to make for dinner while I’m eating breakfast. Do not be surprised when I pull out my planner to check my appointments. Or when I tell you to be ready 15 minutes earlier than necessary. Or when I start meal prepping for the upcoming week. Don’t be surprised when I get irritated at you for taking too much time getting dressed or when I mention my wedding and children as if they’re not so far away. Don’t be surprised, because I was born late.
But when I tell you I love you, I mean it. And when I say that time passes me too quickly when I’m with you, it’s true. And when I casually suggest that we just see what happens, that’s a big deal. Be shocked when I am spontaneous, because I was born late, and because of that, I usually don’t have time spare. Except with you.