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Little Late, Little Lamb

January 17, 2016

“I was born two weeks early, before my nervous system was fully developed,” Alex says to me honestly, “I was born shaky and nervous. I was born two weeks early, and because of that, I will always be anxious.”

I’ve replayed this statement over and over in my head, turned it around like feeling a small rock. I’ve held it in my mouth to examine the taste, and I’m not sure how to respond, four days later.

I was born a little less than a week late. There was no special reason and my body was fully developed and healthy when I arrived. My mom was in labor with me for 32 hours before I came, getting stuck on the way out.

I was born a little less than a week late, but I’m almost always on time. Perhaps this is the way I’m compensating for taking my sweet time getting here at the beginning.

I was born a little less than a week late. I was born healthy and screaming. I was born ready to take on the entire world. I was born a small girl, already impatient to get on with it. I was born a little less than a week late and because of that, I will be thinking of the future for the rest of my life, to make up for my lost time.

So don’t be surprised when I tell you that what I want to be changes daily or that I think of what to make for dinner while I’m eating breakfast. Do not be surprised when I pull out my planner to check my appointments. Or when I tell you to be ready 15 minutes earlier than necessary. Or when I start meal prepping for the upcoming week. Don’t be surprised when I get irritated at you for taking too much time getting dressed or when I mention my wedding and children as if they’re not so far away. Don’t be surprised, because I was born late.

But when I tell you I love you, I mean it. And when I say that time passes me too quickly when I’m with you, it’s true. And when I casually suggest that we just see what happens, that’s a big deal. Be shocked when I am spontaneous, because I was born late, and because of that, I usually don’t have time spare. Except with you.

Xo, Willa

 

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