I did an interview last week for my friend Taylor’s new magazine called Contentment. She’s looking to put together a video with interview footage featuring a lot of different kinds of women and I’m so excited that I get to be a part of it!
We chatted a lot about how people perceive us at first glance. I know how I come across. I’ve been told time and time again “I was afraid of you at first!” or “I thought you were gonna be dumb when I first met you!” or “You have such a bitchy face.” It’s what I’m almost always typecast as: the bitch.
I don’t mind this, strangely enough. I have never minded being seen in this light as this tough, take-no-shit young woman who doesn’t owe anyone anything. But there are moments when I step back and wonder if I should be nicer.
I’m naturally a people person. I love talking to others and helping people and I genuinely do really like most people I come into contact with. But if I have a problem with you, I try to let you know. At the same time, I’m regularly guilty of being fake nice.
Should I be more worried about how I come across to other people? I don’t know. On one hand, I don’t want anyone to think I’m being rude. But on the other hand, why should I feel the need to go out of my way to be friendly to people who I genuinely do not like? Men do this all the time and meet little to no response, but the second I don’t reach out for a hug, I can feel the energy in the room shift. If I’m not smiling at all times, I’m seen as stuck up. And that, I’m certain, is just a little sexist.
So, whatever, I’m sick of it. Being fake nice is a waste of everyone’s energy. I don’t want to feel the need to overcompensate when I don’t like someone else. I don’t want to be rude, but I don’t have to be anything beyond polite. And the look on my face, regularly, should not determine how I am as a person.
Call me a bitch, I don’t owe you anything.