Sight But No Vision: My Relationship With Acting

August 8, 2017

I have a love/hate relationship with acting, and that’s painful for me to admit. I grew up taking theatre classes, learning music, dancing around the house, and performing in general. I went to an arts high school and majored in theatre, which inspired me to audition and choose to go to college to get a BFA in Acting. I loved it. Being onstage telling stories, playing characters, was my favorite thing in the world. When I fell out of love, I was shocked and lost. I couldn’t explain it. How did I suddenly hate something I used to love so much?

Poseidon’s Regret, 2015 (Brelby Theatre Co.)

Being in school focusing only on acting made me second guess myself. While I clearly knew what I was supposed to do, I’d completely lost sight of what it was I loved about it. I was stressed and wondered if I was even good enough. I wondered why I liked this at all. Then I took a step back and realized that it wasn’t about the costumes or lights or being the center of attention.

For me, I always it has always been the stories. Telling other people’s stories. I love acting because I love being able to tell someone’s story when they aren’t there to tell it them self. 

In The Heart of America, 2016 (Boston University)

That’s what this is all about for me. I don’t understand what the point of doing something is if it doesn’t help other people in some way. I lost sight of that for a while, but that lost love helped me to better understand exactly what I enjoyed about performing.  Looking forward, who knows what I’ll do. Maybe I’ll continue acting, or maybe not. But either way, I know for sure that I’ll end up doing something to benefit others. I feel lucky to have found my vision.

*Note: This post is in accordance with for a scholarship opportunity

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