Last week, I pulled into my garage too quickly and badly scrapped the side of my car. I took it, as I do everything, as karma. My mom believed that it was a sign to slow down.
I generally move through life quickly. I love efficiency and planning and getting things done. I hate waiting around; I am the most impatient person I know. So whenever people even mention the idea of slowing down, I immediately roll my eyes. For me, life was meant to be lived quickly and ferociously with a no-bullshit attitude.
Of course, the universe (and probably my mother) conspired to send as many signs my way as possible, all telling me to take my time. First there was my lack of ability to not cause hundreds of dollars worth of damage, then there was a conversation in which Mat told me to accept fate and let things be, next I put my phone on shuffle and it jumped immediately to this, and finally there came a realization with my friend, Leo. Leo is good people. I don’t know him super well, but he’s easygoing, funny, and not one to rush things along (except for this blog post). Basically, Leo is everything I am not.
In an effort to get to know each other better, we’ve been texting a lot about everything from the weather to our childhoods to our attitude towards life. What I’ve learned about Leo is that he is not one to rush into much of anything. I, on the other hand, demand fast pace and have agreed to many projects far too early. We got on the topic of how we describe ourselves and I realized that while I don’t mean to be, I’m already set in my ways. I like to be quick and to get things done fast and to rush and even to be impatient. I needed to take a step back.
I took a very small probably more like a half-step back and looked at my life: I’ve always been like this. And it’s not all bad. Often times, I’m very thankful for how good I am with time-management. But my quickness that led to impatience has led to a lot of frustration as well. I don’t need it.
So, in conclusion, I decided that since the universe was telling me to slow down, I should. I shouldn’t rush through everything, just some things. I can’t always be impatient and demanding, sometimes I can just hold. And I don’t need to constantly be waiting for the next thing to happen, I can be happy with where I am. I am allowed to take my time.